grapehyasynth:

Boy Talk

In which the men of S.H.I.E.L.D. are the biggest gossips around.

-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Drop everything!” Hunter called as he strode into the gym.

“Don’t drop that, it’ll crush you,” Mike said to Trip, for whom he was acting as a spotter.

“No, seriously, I have news, and you’re not going to want to be holding anything when you hear it. You might also want to sit down.” Hunter slid onto the workout bench next to Trip’s and waited expectantly.

Trip carefully lowered the barbell and scooted out. Mike handed him a towel and leaned against the brick wall.

“There’s another man,” Hunter declared.

“You’re gonna need to give us more than that,” Trip chuckled, wiping down his forehead and neck.

“There’s another man in the Shakespearean tragedy that is Fitzsimmons! Turns out there was some bulky astronaut stranded on the hellscape with Simmons and one thing led to another and they got hot and heavy and now she’s trying to get back there to save him.”

Mike and Trip both groaned.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Trip sighed.

“Haven’t those two been through enough?” Mike muttered bitterly.

Trip nodded. “Not that I blame Jemma, or this other dude, but seriously? It’s like the devil’s pulling out all the stops to keep them apart.”

“Oh, I blame Hog Face,” Hunter admitted readily. “That’s what I’m calling him, out of loyalty to Fitz. Oh, I haven’t even told you the worst part yet – Fitz is actually helping Simmons bring her lover back.”

Mike whistled.

“Damn,” Trip breathed. “That’s gotta be confusing the hell out of the girl. And Fitz – he’s definitely a better man than any of us.”

“Says the guy who exposed himself to Terragen vapor and would’ve died if he didn’t happen to be Inhuman,” Mike snorted.

“Yeah, why are you working out, anyway?” Hunter said sharply. “You were superhuman before your transformation,  you hardly need to keep pumping iron.”

“He’s got a date with Maria Hill,” Mike snitched.

“Shut up!” Hunter laughed, sitting forward eagerly. “Tell me everything.”

[Roughly six months later]

“I don’t believe it!” Trip repeated, rubbing tears of mirth out of his eyes as Mack slid him another beer.

“I know, I know,” Mack chortled. “It was kind of my own fault after I had that talk with Simmons and then left them alone, but I still wasn’t prepared for them to show up with hickies everywhere and lipstick all over Fitz’s face. Simmons was practically limping.”

“Oh my sweet goodness,” Trip breathed as he tried to catch his breath. “I mean, good for them, but – that Quinjet ride must’ve been a mastercourse in awkward.”

“They could barely keep their hands off each other.” Mack shook his head. “We’re all thrilled, obviously, and I never thought I’d see the day, but… I felt like I was chaperoning a bunch of teenagers.” 

“I’m just glad my bunk is on the other end of the hallway,” Trip said significantly and took a swig from his bottle.

“Don’t remind me,” Mack groaned. “I might start crashing on the couch til things settle down.”

“What’s settling down?” Jemma asked innocently as she hurried into the kitchen, balancing the leftovers from her dinner with Fitz in his bunk.

“Nothing,” Mack said quickly, but neither he nor Trip were able to contain their goofy grins.

She glanced between them, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“Just two guys quenching their thirst,” Trip choked out, his shoulders already shaking with laughter again.

“Agent Mackenzie!” Jemma cried, whirling on Mack. “You told him?”

“C’mon, Simmons, everyone knows,” Mack sighed.

“Obviously everyone does not know, if Agent Triplett had to wait for you to violate our implicit agreement of confidentiality! Oh, I’m so embarrassed,” she moaned.

“Don’t be, girl,” Trip laughed, taking the dishes from her and depositing them in the sink. “Seriously, Jemma, we’re as happy about this as you are. Doesn’t mean we won’t be teasing you mercilessly, but–”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Daisy,” Jemma muttered and stalked out of the kitchen.